The Key to Happiness: Being present can be challenging, but is possible

Thinking of old memories or dreaming of future opportunities can be fun. But dwelling too much on the past or the future can take away from living in the present moment, ultimately impacting happiness.  

“The only thing that we have is this moment,” says Stephen Schwed, a licensed professional counselor and yoga teacher. “The future is in the mind and the past is in the mind, but if you’re in the present, then you’re actually living life. All there is is this moment, anything else is a projection or a memory.”

Schwed says dwelling on the past or thinking too much about the future can lead to suffering and unhappiness because there’s not a focus on how something is in the current moment. Instead, there’s a focus on how things could be or have been different.

“When you want things to be different, you’re not happy because you’re craving something else,” Schwed says. “You want things to be different from what they are.”

It can be trickier than it sounds to live in the present moment. There are many methods people can use. 

“Exercise, meditation and yoga can help people be present,” Schwed says. 

He also believes people can have a “mind shift” and instead of taking gradual steps to change, can have an “overnight shift.” 

“People change in two different ways,” Schwed says. “The first is the slow, atomic habits, process-oriented change 1% at a time, getting a little bit better every day. Another way that people change as well is that they wake up one day and decide that they’re done. I see this more often than the former.”

Other measures can help, including meditation, yoga and therapy, but he most frequently sees clients who have “mind shifts.”

“Certainly, change can just happen on a dime,” Schwed says. “That’s what I see most often.”

He believes there have always been challenges to being present, but they are most likely intensified with the advent of smartphones and other technology increasingly adept at capturing the attention of its users.

“The more technology changes, the more it gets better at honing our attention,” Schwed says. “A kaleidoscope is one thing, a television is another, but a supercomputer in our pocket really captures our attention and takes us out of the present moment.”

In addition to smartphones themselves, Schwed says he sees social media playing a significant role in people not being present, as it contributes to being hyper-aware of what others are doing rather than focusing on oneself. This awareness of what others are doing contributes to a feeling of “FOMO,” or a fear of missing out. 

To avoid this, Schwed uses social media, but doesn’t look at user’s stories —a feature on platforms including Instagram, Snapchat and Facebook. Stories allow users to share short, temporary videos, that are typically only available for 24 hours. Instead, he uses it to share photography and stay in touch with friends and family members.

He doesn’t think social media is inherently bad, as users can utilize the platforms as a way to share art or connect with friends, but says users should be mindful of how they are feeling while accessing the platforms.

“Being present is the key to happiness,” Schwed says.